Talking about the Vlasic pelican

Him - "That's one hell of a crunch!!" That's what I remember him saying
*I look it up*
Me - "That's the tastiest crunch I've ever heard" ....
Him - Well sh*t

When I said he should try Chinese

Yeah! I'm ready for some new cuisine. I'm sick of this American BS!

This is old...but awesome nonetheless.

Couldn't decide if this was awesome or ridiculous...

After my mom moved away

Me - My mom's boyfriend is like really really sick

Justin - From what? A broken heart?